The Biebs Has Granted Us His Masterpiece, The Boyfriend Video

Justin Bieber just premiered his new video for "Boyfriend."  Remember when he went on The Voice to premiere a clip of it?  That sneaky bastard showed us the WRONG thing.  But, I think he realized that we were all way creeped out by the random army of hands that started molesting him mid-song.  So mercifully, that got cut out.

The video STARTS with that little clip he showed on The Voice, and then it restarts?  With a new opening? Ok sure.  You can tell the Biebs is making a play for Song of Summer because his dancers are all "yoooo dude it's just WAY too hot to wear clothessss."

Also Justin, when you look at that girl I get a creepy feeling on the inside.  With this video, I invite you all to play the "See How Long It Takes For You To Be Completely Freaked Out" game, made popular by Jesse McCartney.  

This Bitch: Cheryl Cole

Is amazing so check her out.

She's like a sassy Shania Twain with more eye makeup.  ALSO note the pants.  While I'm sure are way comfy and perf for dancing, not being pulled off as well as Rihanna.  And now we have a tally mark in the "STEPHANIE DON'T YOU DARE GET HAREM PANTS" column.

Here's Rihanna's New Video for "Where Have You Been"

AKA potentially your Song of the Summer.  Thoughts?  What do we think about sexy/creepy alligator as a look. I think I'll attempt it this Saturday.

I DO know that those look like the comfiest effing pants I've ever laid eyes on, and I need them in my wardrobe immediately.

And then you judgmental mofos will say nothing because Rihanna made it happen.  I'm also digging that turban head wrap thing.  And the eye makeup.  Basically next time you see me I will be dressed as tribal Rihanna.

These eyebrows however:

Not happening.  Intentionally, at least.

Melissa Gorga Just Released Your New Favorite Song to Belt Out in the Car

Melissa Gorga is hella classy.  She's following up her EPIC dance hit (not being sarcastic, I still get down to "On Display") with the super sweet ballad.  Obviously Melissa is a TRUE housewife talent unlike those other trolls who try to make music.  

Real talk though I kind of hate that I'm already into it and will prob be singing this alone in "Someone Like You" fashion.

Have a listen over at iTunes.

Here's John Mayer's New Video...And a Continuation of My Plea

John Mayer premiered his video for "Shadow Days" today, and we're going to have to have another talk. LISTEN.  This song is nice.  It's a good "hey I know you thought I was a douche, but give me another chance" comeback song.  BUT THEN YOU GO ON AND LOOK THE WAY THAT YOU DO.

THIS IS NOT A LOOK.

WE TALKED ABOUT THIS.  Looking like you're going to murder people and then plant a cornfield over their bodies is NO WAY to start your comeback.  We need classic "Your Body Is a Wonderland" John.  We love that John.  

Because I am a fan until you really do murder someone (even then I'd prob still get excited to see how that effects your lyrics), I still love it.  I'm just saying that maybe, for the next video, cut the hair?  Maybe?  Please?

Appearances aside, I really do like the wanderer, trying to find yourself vibe of the video.  Well done! (ish)

Also, I'm told that you too were at 30 Rock's live episode, but that you were not there at the same time as me.  Rude, sir!  We could have been friends slash I would have pretended that I had no idea who you were and then you would have thought HOW REFRESHING and then you would have said hey let's go get drinks and I would have said mmm I mean sure?  And then we would have fallen in love.  But you were rude and got there at a different time and this scenario THAT I HAVE NOT HAD PLANNED OUT did not take place.  Le sigh.

Usher Just Dropped a Contender for the Song of the Summer

Usher's new song "Scream" came out today and I'm pretty sure it has a good shot for being the Song of the Summer (said in a booming voice).  Take a listen, tell me what you think.  I lovvvvvvve, I can't wait for his new album.

Maroon 5's New Single

Check out Maroon 5's new single with Wiz Khalifa.  It's crazy catchy annnnd I already love it.  They're performing it on The Voice tonight so be sure to catch it and Adam's new haircut.

via ONTD

Here's J. Lo's New Song With Pitbull

aka my new song for summer.  enjoy!

Men In Black Has a Theme Song. It Is Not By Will Smith.

via thesizzurp.com

I was really hoping for a Big Willy comeback, guys.  Like, another here come the men in black would have been perf for the 90s nostalgia trip we're all having.  Meh fine.  They picked Pitbull to do the song, which prob guarantees it to be a lot more than if Will Smith did it.  Have a listen:



I'm really digging the Pitbull meets Mad Men vibe.  It makes me want to dance like Peggy.

via AV Club

Justin Bieber's Whisper Rapping Makes Me Feel Uncomfortable.

Like really uncomfortable.  I will say I like that Biebs is bringing back the R&Bish music and I hope the Beliebers blow this up so that Mariah & Usher & Boyz II Men can have comebacks and we can be in a golden age of new Let It Burns and Emotions.  I've given this too much thought.

Other than that I need to go listen to some Celine to de-creepify myself.

Here's Madonna's New Video For Girl Gone Wild

We like?

Add A Little Sexy to Your Tuesday With John Legend's New Video

Here's the premiere of the video for John Legend's latest single, "Tonight." You are very, very welcome.  LUDA.

Dear Neon Hitch:

I've really been trying to push you on my friends.  I've been a big fan since you popped on my radar last May, and with your new single, I was so close to having them.  It's fun and dance-y and just the kind of stuff that we love.  I saw that your new video was out for the song and I thought yay!  I'll promote her some more.

What the hell was that all about?  From this video I've garnered 3 bits of information:

1. You have a nice bum.  Brava, you.
2. You have fun choice in footwear.
3. You may or may not be able to walk.

This is going to make it hard in my continued quest to make you famous amongst my friends.

Track Listing for John Mayer's New Album

please, please, please get a new picture

Remember in that episode of Full House when Stephanie had a crush on a fellow baseball player, Bret, and DJ made fun of her by saying her heart beat went "Bret Bret, Bret Bret" instead of normal beat?

No?  Don't have a freaky specific knowledge of Full House?  You're telling me you DON'T remember when Stephane and Michelle spilt mustard on DJ's new sweater?  UGH. HOW RUDE.

I had a point.  Yes..right..so anywho my point was that with all this Johnny M. news lately my heart is beating just like Stephanie's was.  Which is why YOU'RE getting an overkill of album updates.  


Today he posted his track listing, something that serves absolutely no purpose but to think, "gee I bet 'Walt Grace’s Submarine Test, January 1967' is a whimsy song."


Here's the full track list for your guessing pleasure:

1. Queen of California
2. The Age of Worry
3. Shadow Days
4. Speak for Me
5. Something Like Olivia
6. Born and Raised
7. If I Ever Get Around To Living
8. Love is a Verb
9. Walt Grace’s Submarine Test, January 1967
10. Whisky, Whisky, Whisky
11. A Face To Call Home
12. Born and Raised (Reprise)

The album will be in your hands on 5/22/12

Update! John Mayer's Full Single

This is what happens when you report old news.  A few hours later they go ahead and release the full song.  It is lovely and amazing and soothing and perfect.  Don't worry, I'm not the least bit biased (at all).  He's released his tour dates and is coming NO WHERE near New York City soooo who wants to road trip?

Madonna's Girl Gone Wild

Here's the premiere of Madonna's Girl Gone Wild.  It's a lyric video, which is apparently the new thing (I'm all for it).  The single comes out on March 26th.

Things That I Missed While On Vacation: John Mayer

Shit happened while I was away so this might be a weee bit dated.  However.  John Mayer was CRUEL and posted a snippet of his new song while I had zero computer access.  HOW COULD YOU.  If you haven't heard it yet, listen and melt.  I have this on loop while I'm doing all my catch up work.

 

Now let's talk single art.  Johnny, we've already have had this discussion about your new look.  We need it to stop, and we were prettyyyyyy sure that it did.  Mostly because someone angrily yelled at me that it did.  But looking at that picture, you still seem like Johnny Depp in Secret Window who is ready to kill us.  FIX. THIS.  It looks douchey and weird.  This is not the way to get everyone back on your side.  

I'm going to pretend we're not in a superficial world and the music will speak for itself because gawwwwd I already love it and can't wait for the album to come out.

I'm Listening To: Tonight - John Legend

I am 100% biast in my love for John Legend but this song is SMMOOOOOOOTH and moral erasing.  Also.  How can you not love any song that gives you a LUDA right in the middle of it?

O...M...G.....MADONNA!

DID YOU WATCH THIS. UGHHHHHHHHHH.  THIS BITCH.  SO GOOD.

Madonna KILLED IT at the Super Bowl.  KILLED.  IT.  She literally showed up and said "these bitches are gonna see how it's done."  You know Katy Perry was watching and was like "welllllll I'm done.  We can cease production on my new album."

I geeked out all weekend with how smartly she's rolling out her new album.  It's #1 in FIFTY FOUR countries right now AND IT'S NOT GETTING RELEASED TILL MARCH.  March.

Radio stations were playing "Give Me All Your Luvin'" every hour on the hour, which gave you just enough time to be obsessed with it and learn the words for the show.  The show.  I can't even get into it was so good.  I don't even care that she lip synched.  Let's be real, it was better that way.  I think they should just hire her to be the house act for the rest of the Super Bowls.  That would be my suggestion.

Here's a video of the of the performance (I'll keep it up for as long as it stays on YouTube, I'm hoping that NBC get's their act together and posts the full performance).

Premiere! Madonna's New Video

I can't WAIT for the album.