HIMYM: The Burning Beekeeper

We FINALLY got a new episode, and I wish they would have returned with a little more oomph. It was kind of eh right? Read the episode highlights after the jump. 

• Lil' Shall are having a housewarming party in their new Long Island home. Lily asks her dad if he could please be cool in front of her friends. He says hun I'll try but natch I gots 10,000 bees in the basement CUZ I'M A QUIRKY PLOT DEVELOPMENT WOOO. 

• Ted, Robin, and Barney show up and put their food in the oven to heat up. As Robin sets the timer Ted informs us that everything is about to go wrong in the next five minutes. Let's start with the living room. 
• Now, let's clear something up. There's nothing I love more than seeing one story from multiple angles (let's chalk this up to a film geek thing). But HIMYM has done this. A few times. And with much better results. But back to the story. 
• So Marshall has had a few cocktails and is a we bit crunk. He's just happy to finally have a night off from work. As soon as he finishes saying this, his boss informs him lolz that was a funny wish we're going back to work in 45 minute. BUZZ KILL. 
• Marshall starts freaking out that he can't handle this job and wants to stand up to him but he's scared. Robin stops by and he asks for advice, since she's all yell-y and mean. She gets pissed that he called her that. 
• Barney comes in and starts talking about how much he enjoys his junk. We are given a thrilling plot development. 

• Lily needs more wine, which is down in the basement with all the bees, so Daddio goes and gets it. 
• Someone in a beekeeper outfit (we presume Lily's father) runs through the house engulfed in flames. Ok. 

MEANWHILE IN THE DINING ROOM 

• Barney meets a chick who's currently planning her cat's bar mitzvah (people do this in real life) and natch thinks this bitch won't be crazy, I should totes bang her in the guest bedroom right now. Because I'm a raging sexaholic and no one's addressed my problem in the 7+ years I've known them. 
• Ted has apparently eaten the last vegan spring roll, which is the only thing Marshall's nutso environmentalist boss can eat. He freaks and calls for a fight. Ted's been in a fight. Almost. 

• Marshall begs Lily to help him talk to his boss about not going to work but GOD MARSHALL GROW A PAIR AND TELL HIM YOURSELF I'M DEALING WITH THIS PARTY. 
• Lily has a mini freak out that this is what parenting is, one fire to put out after the other (hahah get it fire? Dude ends up in flames?). She's not ready and Marshall's never around because the environment never sleeps and sombody's gotta defend it. 
• Barney tells Lily's father that he should douse his bee suit in kerosene because that's what all the cool beekeepers do and duh he would know that if was a professional beekeeper and not just some cray cray with 10,000 bees. 

MEANWHILE IN THE KITCHEN

• Ted yells at Robin for being so mean and yelling at the nice old lady who was trying to cut him. Robin calls Ted a girl and says he needs to stand up for himself. 

• Lily warns Barney not to sleep with the crazy neighbor because she chopped off the penis of the last guy who slept with her and didn't call back (pretttttttttyy sure that gets you a little jail time). He is slightly freaked out. 
• Marshall's boss comes in to say that he loves bees and wants to try the kerosene-drenched suit on. 
• Lily accidentally drops her Internet-bought smoked Gouda on the ground. No biggie! Five second rule! Except that three mice come out and start eating it. 
• The burning beekeeper thing happen and everyone runs outside. Lily's dad forgot to shut the basement door so now there's 10,000 bees in the house. Oops.
• Barney sleeps with the crazy (BECAUSE HE HAS A SERIOUS SEX ADDICTION PROBLEM. LIKE SERIOUS. CAN WE ADDRESS THIS AT SOME POINT) and she starts talking about how they'll always be in love and how the last dude who screwed her (ha) got what he deserved. He runs scared. 

Side Notes:

• Was this episode funny? They had a month off, I feel like I should have been fighting the laughter so I could breathe. 
• I feel like they were all in it for five minutes. 
• Here's to next week. 

Catch How I Met Your Mother, Mondays at 8 on CBS