Pop! Goes My Culture: The Office: Test the Store

The Office has always been one of my favorite shows, and it warms my heart when they have a truly hysterical episode. It might be because I'm rewatching the series on Netflix (again), But I just really dug last night. Plus the fact that Mindy Kaling wrote the episode. Read this week's episode highlights after the jump.

Dwight, Jim, and company are still down in Florida setting up the store. Today's the product launch for the new Sabre Pyramid and Dwight's running the show. He even has Erin dressed up like as Tabitha the Hipster camped out in line in front of the store to create hype. It's working! (shhh don't tell her they're all homeless)

Nellie warms up the troops to get them psyched for the new day with how she overcame hardships (her audition to be a Spice Girl lead NO WHERE!) and at this point we say to ourselves, "Do we reallllllllllllllllllllllly need Catherine Tate? She seemed like a good idea but now she's a wee bit annoying."

Dwight preps the crew on dealing with the bloggers they've invited to get a sneak preview. He thinks sooo highly of them.

Rude. Ryan has a presentation that's going to blow everyone away and homewrecker Cathy suggested that she play the role of Hot Girl who wooos the nerd bloggers. Ugh.
Back in Scranton, Pam and Andy come in to work acting like something's def up. Everybody can tell and they demand to know what's happening. UGH ANDY IT'S LIKE OUR LIVES ARE BUFFERING.

Andy shows us his massive black eye and tells us a tale of saving Pam from a gang and getting beat up in the process. Guys. He is SUCH a savior. Except that he kinda stretched the truth and, as the cameras caught, he got beaten up by a middle school girl. Pam, thankful of his rescue, goes along with his brave story of gang fighting.
When everyone is a little concerned about having dangerous gangs roaming around, they suggest Andy reports his assault to the poh-lice. Guysssss come on, we don't want the police to think we're in a bad neighborhood. And plus they're such a hassle. We settle this on the STREET. We'll just have good ol'Toby give us a lesson in self defense. As soon as he puts on his cup.
It's time to release the bloggers and let them into the store. It's all hands on deck and the pressure's on. Erin does her best hipster routine by pretending to be way into Zoo Day Channel.

Jim, armed with both a Pyramid tablet AND Arrowhead phone makes a crucial error. He calls Pam using his OTHER phone and the bloggers (being the sneaky little bastards they are) catch a photo for their fail blog. Oops.
Jim gets de-Pyramided and is banished to sign holding in the front of the store. Oh Jim.

Toby finally gets his day and starts giving his self defense presentation. Andy thinks it's all great but he wants SPECIFIC advice on what do if you ever come face to face with a tiny, penis-less man. Seeing that the odds of that happening are somewhat slim, no one wants to waste their time on that. BUT GUYS. IT COULD HAPPEN.

Moving on. Toby teaches us the first thing to do in self defense is: strike, scream, and run. Very helpful. And thank you Creed for that live demonstration.

Ryan is getting a little pre-show jitters and starts demanding to be comforted. If only Kelly was here! Nooo worries, Dwight can pretend to do that. Now for his mom...Jim! Except Jim flops again and Ryan needs sports drinks to calm down. BUT NONE FROM THAT FRIGE BECAUSE I HATE EVERYTHING IN THEREEEEE UGHHHH.

Toby's seminar gets a minor interruption when a little girl and her mom come in with something special to say. An apology. For beating up the high-pitched fancy man who tried to help the chubby girl. Andy, even though he is NOT that dude she describes, excepts the apology. Annnnnd now everyone knows Andy got beat up by a child. A girl child.

A group of oldies decide they'd like to check out the new Sabre store, but Dwight will not have it. He yells and pushes them out so they continue their search for good early bird meal prices. Erin chats up one of the old gals and tells her about Andy. She tells her that if Andy doesn't want any piece of that hot bod then he's crazy and she should totes forget him.
Ryan can't take the pressure anymore. He jumps ship to go back to his mommy, and the only person left is Jim. Dwight would do it but his face is one nightmares, not for sales presentations. FINE. He will not wear the eyeliner though (ohhh but he will).

With Ryan's freak out, Jim is lead to deliver the presentation. As a frightening, eye-linered, mystical man in white who tells his tales of past drug addictions and mommy loving.

Since the office has figured out that they're really learning about self defense against a 12 year old bully, Kelly steps in as the perfect practice scenario, seeing as she was a 12 year old bully and all. She gets all up in Toby's face. Andy, being the kind soul that he is, steps in to break up the fight and gets pummeled by Kelly in the other eye. Oops.
Post presentation, Dwight meets with Nellie. She loved the whole thing so much she's making him Vice President. Weeeeeeeeeee(eeewwhat does this mean exactly? Is Dwight leaving Scranton? Are we stuck with more Nellie?)!!!